Soulfire and Sea,
I finally found someone with Asperger's who blogs!!!
I can't even begin to tell you how comforting it is to know there are others who simply can't read a map, can't tell right from left, can't talk when getting dinner ready, can't talk while she is driving (it finally dawned on me why I ran a stop - I had Danny, Rebecca and their little girl in the car and my focus was to be a good host by talking non-stop!!!), can't figure out what year is 4 years from 2005, can't fill in forms, can't follow rules and appreciate bureaucracy (I must be the only one in police who never cleared her voicemail, never left out-of-office messages, never answered calls when she was in thoughts and would get irritated enough to unplug the phone, never did her yearly appraisals except the year she was promoted coz the boss needed the self-assessment as supporting document, never clocked enough training hours, never thought corporate retreats were mandatory, never believed in going in to the office at the same time that everyone else did, never really listened to anything everyone else was saying at meeting coz she wouldn't be able to catch all the nuances/hidden meanings and had to rely on minute-takers to do the interpreting and deciphering, never wrote minutes based on what really transpired at meetings coz she was seldom able to figure out what everyone was meaning to say, etc, etc, and got away with all of them).
I can't tell you how happy I am to know there are others out there who forget how to get home sometimes. I bet they couldn't find their way back to their seat at a restaurant after visiting the restroom too.
I can finally tell D that it isn't coz I can't be bothered, it's coz I really can't keep track of all the things he has been doing so methodically all these years: the paying of the thousand types of bills, the monitoring of expenses (I never even knew how much I earned, let alone how much I spent on what), the filing of taxes, the dates to service the car, to renew licences, insurances and PASSPORTS, to go for dental, eye and body checkups (except for dental, I've missed the other checkups for 10 years....D gave up by the 5th....he gets his done at his company clinic), trim my hair (after years of training, I finally learned to at least make monthly appointments for D to trim his), trim my toenails (something that totally freaks me out and my hands tremble everytime I perform the impossible task), and all the other routined matters that overwhelm me to the extent that just a mere glance at the list gives me fainting spells. Needless to say, I never open the mailbox (both the physical and the electronic - my 3 email inbox has 4000, 3000 and 500 unread emails, excluding spams, accumulated from 2008). Whenever D comes home from a long business trip, we almost need a basket to hold all the letters that have accumulated. Which makes me wonder, how did I ever manage to manage the department's finance when I was with police (and I did a darn good job! D was pissed!)
I avoid attending funerals because I don't always succeed in stopping myself from giggling. I avoid attending weddings too coz I can never understand what the whole fuss is about and almost always pity the couple for having to be clowns for one day just so people won't be pissed with them for not sharing their joy, and it shows on my face. I almost never attend birthday parties because I really think they are a waste of everyone's time, especially mine. I can't understand why people can't work on their birthdays, can't NOT be bothered about other's birthdays, can't NOT attend family gatherings that they hate, can't slam the door on salesman that come knocking at 9am and 9pm. I can't understand why my philosophy professor was bothered about my absence at his lectures when I passed all my assignments and exams with flying colors (he gave me a failing grade and it was D who went to appeal for a pass for me - basically, he went to see all the professors who failed me in my first year at the university and that's why I want to do D's laundry forever).
I feel bad for D sometimes that I am who I am. But he's pretty happy that I would never figure out how to take half of everything he has if I ever decide that I want to travel the world with another man.